Daily Archives: June 6, 2008

Secrets of A Baseball Groupie

Many people wonder how women get to such a low point in their lives where they decide “Hey, let me whore myself out to baseball players!”. Who are these women? Groupies are typically average looking women who come to ball games not just to watch, but to attract the attention of any player that will turn their head. Some players define groupies as women who collect professional athletes.
What do these “groupies” hope to get out of their little rendezvous with these men? The answers are varied. Some just want a good fling, others wanted to be reminded that they are “sexy”, and most just want the attention, glamor, and fame that comes with being associated with these athletes. I know a couple of women personally that hook up with these men and then expect for a relationship to develop, and these are married men with children. Do these women honestly expect that a player like Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez, or Hanley Ramirez will drop their wives and families to go be with a loosey goosey? I wouldn’t think so, but they do.
What kind of strategies to these women have? One of my girlfriend’s spilled the beans and told me her methods. Groupies usually travel in packs of twos or threes. They then attempt to attract attention. They will typically get seats near the 1st or 3rd baseline to make sure they are seen; they will also try stalking the player parking lots and clubhouse. Typically, these women will do whatever possible to find out what bars or clubs the players frequent or what hotel they are staying in and then make an appearance. At the ballpark, because the women are some distance from the ball players, they will try to exaggerate characteristics players find attractive. You will most likely see loads of make up, very revealing tops, and incredibly low and tight shorts. This makes it easier for them to be picked out of a crowd. Before you know it, a player may make the sign for her to give him her number and you will see the groupie swaying to the bat boy with a piece of paper containing her digits. My girl friend claims this isn’t the only reason she attends games, but then again, she won’t admit that she is a groupie, either.
What do players think of groupies? While players may enjoy a groupies attention and company, you can be most certain that the respect they hold for these women is null and void. A groupie can easily be compared to a prostitute. Many players see in the groupies a sexual relationship with out attachments. Groupies come with their risks too, and many veteran baseball players are aware of this. Most groupies have STD’s, such as my girl friend who has HPV, amongst other things, but swears that it isn’t contagious…. Other risks are scam artists posing as groupies, extortionists; these women may get pregnant and then demand child support, ruin your marriage, and forever tarnish your name in baseball. What price are these players willing to pay for a piece of @$$? Many players try to avoid groupies for this reason, but it should be noted that many players avoid these women simply out of faithfulness to their partners or with concern that these women will distract them from playing baseball and hurt their performance.
So what about this groupie epidemic, do you ever think that it will cease? I doubt it. Not as long as these ball players are making the salaries that they do. Not as long as men behave like dogs and these women behave like hookers. On any given night outside of Dolphin Stadium, you will find anywhere from 10 – 20 groupies waiting in hopes that they will go home with a player. Not bad for a team with the lowest attendance in the league.

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Coco Crisp and James Shields Battle It Out

It wasn’t a matter of IF this incident was to happen, it was simply a matter of when. The brawl between Coco Crisp and James Shields was induced just the day before, when Crisp took a very late slide and slammed directly into Rays second baseman Akinori Iwamura. The very next day, Crisp came up to bat and was immediately hit by a pitch that Shields threw. Seconds later, what was supposed to have been a lovely baseball game at Fenway park turned into your typical Fight Night. Crisp, I’d just be happy Shields didn’t hit you in the head with that pitch.

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