Baseball’s Most Bizarre Injuries

Baseball players are frequent visitors to the disabled list, but these bizarre ailments will really get you saying, “What the…?”.

1. Hunter Pence gets into a collision.

We’ve mostly all had the displeasure of sitting next to a glass window and experiencing what happens when a bird doesn’t realize that that there is a clear shield that it is about to slam into. In most cases, the bird gets up slightly startled and a bit off balance and we have a good chuckle to ourselves; but what happens when the victim is a human being that has had one too many alcoholic beverages. I’d say it’s just as comical. A little more surprising and worrisome, but just as comical nonetheless. Hunter Pence has a promising future with the Houston Astros, but strangely missed the first week of spring training this year due to his drunken mishap of shattering a sliding glass door with his body on the way to the hot tub. Apparently the owner of the door used Windex to clean it and fooled Hunter.

Hunter Pence is now deathly afraid of glass doors

Hunter Pence is now deathly afraid of glass doors

2. John Smoltz getting the wrinkles out.

This one is said to only be an urban legend, but if that first guy is dumb enough to go through a sliding glass door, anything’s possible. John Smoltz may often be talked about as being one of the best pitcher’s of his generation, but he may not be the sharpest tool in the shed in this instance. He is accused of attempting to iron his shirt… while he was still wearing it. Perhaps someone should have given him an instruction manual along with that iron.

Ouch

Ouch

3. Adam Eaton takes a stab at it.

I know you have all gone through it. You go to your local Best Buy and purchase that brand new DVD that was just released. You’ve been waiting months for this thing to come out so you can watch it and you won’t let anything get between you and your film… except that damn wrapper it is engulfed in, not to mention the 50 damn security stickers it is bound by. What to do next? How to we free this long awaited DVD? Use your teeth, perhaps a set of keys, or maybe a knife? Adam Eaton, a recent September call up for the Philadelphia Phillies, opted for the latter and found out the hard way that it was a horrible choice when he accidentally stabbed himself in the stomach while attempting to unwrap a DVD.

He makes funny signals and stabs himself. What a player.

He makes funny signals and stabs himself. What a player.

4. Sammy Sosa clears his sinuses.

Slugger Sammy Sosa is most famously known for his long ball, but after this incident he is now known for clearing his sinuses, while inducing back spasms. Instead of Sosa playing on the field with teammates, he sat out the game in the clubhouse receiving back treatment. I guess his sneeze is worse than his killer swing!

Attempting not to sneeze

Attempting not to sneeze

5. Wade Boggs loves himself some boots!

Hall of Famer, Wade Boggs, is widely known for being part of the 3,000 hit club and for being punched out by Barnie on an episode of the Simpsons, but he is now also known for straining his back while slipping on a pair of cowboy boots. “What in the…?” The injury kept Boggs out the line up for seven games.

THATs what the cowboy boots were for!!

THAT's what the cowboy boots were for!!

6.  Steve Sparks must’ve really needed that number!

While attending a motivational speech held by the Brewers, the former pitcher watched as the group ripped phone books in half and blew up hot water bottles. Sparks was apparently both moved and fired up by the session and so he decided to have at it and attempted to tear up his own phone book. Sadly, the book had at him and Sparks dislocated his shoulder while attempting to perform the stunt.

If you dont look capable of shredding a phone book, you probably shouldnt try it.

If you don't look capable of shredding a phone book, you probably shouldn't try it.

7. Kevin Mitchell can’t get enough sweets!

The former slugger has had his share of strange food related injuries. In one instance he was placed on the DL for straining rib muscles while vomiting due to food poisoning. My favorite, however, was when he showed up 4 days late to spring training in 1990 while he was injured eating a microwaved donut. Soon after giving into his sweet craving, Mitchell needed a root canal.

He may look invincible, but just give him a donut and hell weaken. Just keep him away from your cat.

He may look invincible, but just give him a donut and he'll weaken. Just keep him away from your cat.

8. Bret Barberie spices up his life.

Former Marlins had difficulty securing a steady gig in the Major Leagues, but this incident landed him in the MLB’s Bizarre Injuries HOF. He once missed a game while inadvertently rubbing chili juice in his eyes. Bret, napkins were invented for a reason.

He mustve been blinded by sauce when growing out his mullet.

He must've been blinded by sauce when growing out his mullet.

9. Glenallen Hill has nightmares.

Nightmares can induce emotional and psychological stress. Unfortunately for the former outfielder, it also brought on a bit of physical stress as well. Hill tumbled out of his bed one night while having a nightmare that he was being covered in spiders. Sadly, the only thing there to break his fall was a glass table. Guessing he didn’t catch Spiderman?

This photo was taken during Hills dream... pre glass table.

This photo was taken during Hill's dream... pre glass table.

10. Jeff Kent likes to wash his truck.

Jeff Kent likes to keep things casual by washing his truck. Unfortunately he slipped while bathing his pick up at an Arizona self wash and injured his wrist while attempting to break his fall. No one bought that story, so he later admitted that he got the injury while attempting motorcycle tricks in a parking lot. I wonder why he lied?

Jeff Kent washing his truck.

Jeff Kent washing his truck.

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3 Comments

Filed under baseball, Real Life, Sports

3 responses to “Baseball’s Most Bizarre Injuries

  1. That is some funny stuff. I was surprised to not see Joel Zumaya’s name not on the list. Remember when he missed three games of the 2006 ALCS because he injured his wrist playing Guitar Hero? How does that “happen”?

  2. jv

    good stuff! I had never heard of ANY of these incidences.

  3. yankee

    What about Ken Griffey JR. pinched his testicles on his cup.

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