Tag Archives: Justin Miller

Mike Gonzalez Is A F*cking Weirdo

As I watched the Braves defeat the Marlins in an agonizing fashion, I realized something very important. Not only is it impossible for the Marlins to win two games in a row, but the Braves closer is a complete wacko. Mike Gonzalez, or the gyrating Gonzo, as I now like to call him, does a strange little dance before each pitch. Perhaps he was a snake charmer in his days before playing in the Majors and is attempting to loosen up his opponents with his relaxing dance. Whatever the case, it is incredibly creepy and a huge distraction. I think I saw Brett Carroll cock his head to the side in confusion. Hey, if Justin Miller has to wear sleeves to conceal his tattoos and Reynel Pinto had to remove his bling, I think the gyrating Gonzo should have to stand still.

Mike, unless your clubbing in South Beach, I don’t wanna see that rump shaker again.

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard….”


Filed under baseball, Real Life, Sports

Scott Olsen Has Every Reason To Be A Dick

I never really understood why the seemingly evil Scott Olsen was always in a sour mood. The unapologetic 24 year old nicotine fiend rarely smiles, hardly pays attention to any fans, and is an all around “bad boy”. While Olsen hasn’t made the best decisions in recent years, he has kept him self out of trouble this year. He has stayed focused and has pitched as well as he possibly can. However, his last 9 starts have ended in no decisions, or losses. Sadly, it isn’t even his fault. Olsen usually maintains the lead and the bullpen always manages to ruin the win for him.

For example, this evening’s game against the Rays. Scott Olsen pitched a terrific 7 innings, giving up only 4 hits and 2 runs. Upon leaving the game, Marlins were up a run. All the bullpen had to do was hold it. Reynel Pinto was the first to fill in the pitcher’s spot and immediately, bases were loaded. Joe Nelson then came to try to “save the day”, and while he did well and got two forced outs, he walked two, allowing the Rays to score twice and take the lead. Justin Miller then came in and with a single pitch, ended the top of the 8th.

Scott Olsen has delivered each and every time he has pitched over the last couple of months and the poor guy has not gotten a win since early May. And with as much as I hate Olsen’s pessimistic attitude, I feel that he deserves so much better. So go ahead Scottie, you have every right to be an a*shole. Throw your fit in the dug out, flip off a fan, go kick a dog…. I deeply sympathize with your dilemma. It is just complete and utter bullsh*t.


Filed under baseball, Real Life, Sports