Tag Archives: Reynel Pinto

Mike Gonzalez Is A F*cking Weirdo

As I watched the Braves defeat the Marlins in an agonizing fashion, I realized something very important. Not only is it impossible for the Marlins to win two games in a row, but the Braves closer is a complete wacko. Mike Gonzalez, or the gyrating Gonzo, as I now like to call him, does a strange little dance before each pitch. Perhaps he was a snake charmer in his days before playing in the Majors and is attempting to loosen up his opponents with his relaxing dance. Whatever the case, it is incredibly creepy and a huge distraction. I think I saw Brett Carroll cock his head to the side in confusion. Hey, if Justin Miller has to wear sleeves to conceal his tattoos and Reynel Pinto had to remove his bling, I think the gyrating Gonzo should have to stand still.

Mike, unless your clubbing in South Beach, I don’t wanna see that rump shaker again.

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard….”


Filed under baseball, Real Life, Sports

Phillies Can’t Handle The Fish

It isn’t out of the ordinary for Mario and I to show up to a Marlins game a good 2 or 3 hours prior to the game. On this steamy Sunday morning, Mario and I arrived at Dolphin Stadium at 10:00 AM. We parked in our usual VIP spot (employee parking) and made our way over to the player parking to see if we could snag anyone’s attention. Doug Waechter appeared to have just rolled out of bed, wearing a blue fishing shirt, khaki short, and holding a Starbucks coffee. He turned instatnly when I called out his name and walked quite some distance to us just to take a photo. Alfredo Amezaga arrived in a dark gray Pontiac wearing a black Metallica t-shirt, and as usual was very friendly. I yelled out his name and he responded with an ear to ear grin and a frantic wave. Reynel Pinto sped into the parking area blasting “A Milli” by Lil’ Wayne, but still managed to smile and wave when I yelled out his name. More players came, and went. Lastly was Chris Volstad, I attempted to get a photo, but he was obviously running late for his team meeting or something because he pointed towards something and began to ‘speed walk’ after we requested a photo. I don’t hold it against him. He’s from Palm Springs….

We made our way to the gates, got free Marlins bags, and then I got to take a photo with Kevin Gregg. I was having a blast until we got to our seats and the horrendous Florida sun attacked me with all it’s might. If anyone is considering moving to Florida, please don’t. I lathered myself with SPF 45 sun block on four different occasions and STILL got sunburn. I quickly forgot about the sun when I heard some idiot Philly fan taunting Dan Uggla. “Hey, how many ‘E’s in Uggla?”. Uggla just smiled. “That’s a good one.” Uggla definitely took it better than me. I would never last at Yankee Stadium. I get too defensive too easily, and nearly killed a few Philly fans. The game came and went. There was a softball home run derby, Ryan Howard impressed, and Cantu saved us in the 11th inning, giving the Marlins and Doug Waechter the win.

Despite the Phillies losing the game, the majority were very kind and signed. Taguchi signed for a good 10 min, as did Joe Blanton, and Jamie Moyer. Moyer cursed a few fans for complaining and completely ignored my multiple requests for a photo. Ah well, at least he signed. All in all, I was very happy with how the day went.

Doug Waechter and I
Karma took care of him after taking some time to pose for a photo.

Kevin Gregg and I

Dan Uggla is awesome 🙂

This man is obnoxious

Autographed softball by Home Run Derby winner, Brett Helmer

J.J. !!!!!

A swing…

And a miss.

He was being camera shy. 🙂

Reynel Pinto

Mr. “Boo? F*ck ya’ll” himself

Attempting to shield myself from Hell

“My name is Cole Hamels and I’m gonna strike this guy out.”

“Here we go. Get ready!”

“Alright, now watch this!”

“Oh God damn it.”

So Taguchi: The Silent Signer

Mr.Moyer: signing tons of baseballs that you can now find on Ebay,
but rejecting a photo with a sincere fan.


Filed under baseball, Real Life, Sports